I Am Depressed, Unfit and Overweight

I can't believe how hard running 5km is after next to no exercise . I was concentrating on work and family to the point I was daily masking my situational depression with food, alcohol and social smoking.

How did it get this bad?

I used to be in the Australian Military. I served in the Army and Airforce with a 93 day tour to Timor Leste during Operation Citadel, whilst I was in the Army. I later joined the Airforce and was training to go to the Middle East when I woke blind in one eye. The diagnosis was Optic Neuritis with a 50% chance of Multiple Sclerosis. The prognosis was stay within the Military without ever being able to deploy/gain rank or leave (medical discharge) with a partial pension. I left the Military lost, confused and unsure because none of my plans were to ever leave my chosen career path.

Hidden Sadness

I met my current partner Trace when I was on Medical Leave and later went through 9 jobs in one year trying to find another passion or reason. I successfully gained a role within my local council. In the first year working for local council Trace and I had a little son bring light to the dark. Life sounds good doesn't it? Unfortunately something was wrong and I couldn't work it out because when I delved into my world everything seemed ordinary.

What was missing?

I would stare into my monitors at work and I felt disconnected, fat, slow and uninspired. I had gone from 78kg to 94kg in under two years, drinking, smoking and laughing my way into depression. I decided to seek help from a recognised military psychologist and during these visits I was invited to start running with some council colleagues. I couldn't run more than 2km before stopping, but with their encouragement I soon gave myself little goals; run further, run faster and finish the whole distance. They were small self challenges, but significant for me because for the first time in a long time I was completing a mission, a real mission and it felt great!